‘Cycle Breaker’ or ‘Cycle Shifter’?
Beyond being a ‘Cycle Breaker’: Redefining language for Generational Change
A psychologist perspective on how can we shift our choice of language to reflect our journeys
Summary
Let’s reflect on and explore the importance of how language can shape our experiences, whether it’s the semantics of a “Cycle Breaker”, "Generational Pattern Shifter" or "Legacy Transformer", finding the language that suits for you in reflecting a balanced approach that honours cultural heritage while fostering growth may be helpful.
The art of Kintsugi can also be a powerful metaphor for, where we can use the the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold to help illustrate how embracing imperfections and repairing with care can lead to strength and transformation—a fitting analogy for generational healing.
The Power and Limitations of Labels
The phrase "Cycle Breaker" has become a rallying cry for those working to overcome unhelpful and sometimes negative generational patterns. It is a powerful statement of intent, signalling a commitment to change and growth and breaking free and disrupting from our own inherited patterns and genetic imprints.
However, as someone who has grown up between cultures of both Eastern and Western worlds, I have found myself hesitating to fully embrace this term and I wonder if there are others who may also resonate. The term "‘breaking” implies a complete severance, and it defines a disruption – which can be a liberating stance but for some, may also be a concept that can feel jarring especially from cultures where family ties, ancestral wisdom, and traditions are held in the highest regard.
In my own family and even community, there are certainly patterns I am actively working to change, break free from and shift, whether in communication styles, stress management, or emotional regulation. But alongside this desire for change, I carry a profound sense of gratitude for the values and strengths passed down through generations.
This is the duality of the “middle bridge” which has led me to question: Is there a way to approach generational change that doesn't involve "breaking" our connection to our past? We will explore and examine how we might reframe our language and concepts to better reflect the nuanced approach needed in cultural healing.
Kintsugi as a metaphor for Cycle Shifting
The Japanese art of Kintsugi provides a powerful metaphor for this reframed approach to generational healing. In Kintsugi, broken pottery is repaired with gold, creating something even more beautiful from the broken pieces.
This is the beauty of Kintsugi, a Japanese practice that does not hide imperfections but celebrates them, turning brokenness into a new form of strength and beauty. As I reflect on generational healing and growth, like those golden seams, our efforts to address generational patterns are not about erasing our past or hiding our struggles. Instead, they are about acknowledging our history, embracing our cultural heritage, and finding ways to transform challenges into sources of strength and wisdom.
This image of Kintsugi serves as a powerful metaphor for the delicate balance we strike in addressing intergenerational patterns. The majority of us, do not intend to seek to discard our cultural inheritance or break away entirely from our roots. Rather, a lens may be to look for ways to honour our heritage while carefully, lovingly reshaping aspects that may no longer serve us or our families.
As a Vietnamese Australian and Psychologist, I am committed to the practice of Cultural Responsiveness and I frequently find myself at this intersection of exploring methods in honouring tradition and embracing shifts and relearning.
Reframing the Narrative - Honouring Heritage While Embracing Change
Rather than "breaking" cycles, some may prefer language that emphasises transformation and growth. Terms like "Generational Pattern Shifter" or "Legacy Transformer" might feel more aligned, but also not directly relying on the semantics of “breaking” as the definitive one, reflecting a balance between honouring the past and shaping shifts and change.
This reframing isn't just semantic – it's a fundamental shift in how we approach healing as well:
Acknowledging Strengths: Instead of focusing solely on what needs to change, we start by recognising the wisdom, and positive attributes inherited from our ancestors.
Selective Adaptation: We can choose to retain cultural practices that enrich our lives while steering course and gently modifying those that may no longer serve us.
Building Bridges: This approach allows us to create connections between generations, fostering understanding and promoting healing conversations.
Reflecting on my own path, I have realised that being a “cycle breaker” or "legacy transformer" doesn't mean rejecting my Vietnamese heritage or the values instilled by my family. Instead, it's about finding ways to honour those roots while cultivating and carving new branches of growth. For instance, the cultural emphasis on hard work and persistency is something I deeply value. However, I have learned to reframe this drive for perfection by integrating self-compassion and celebrating progress over perfection. This shift allows me to maintain the core value of striving for excellence while fostering a healthier relationship with achievement and self-worth.
Invitation to Reflect
As we navigate the complex terrain of generational healing, I invite you to consider:
How does your choice of language influence your approach to personal growth and family dynamics?
What aspects of your cultural legacy do you want to preserve, and which ones might benefit from a gentle shift, defusion, bridge building, and/ or transformation?
How can you reframe your journey in a way that honours both your heritage and your desire for change, if this aligns with what matters to you and your values?
Conclusion: A Path of Building a Middle Bridge, Not Breaking Ties
Many folks, especially those from diverse cultural backgrounds struggle with feeling caught between cultural expectations and personal growth. By reframing the journey from "breaking cycles" to/and/or "transforming legacies," we open up another lens and space for more compassionate and culturally sensitive healing. This approach allows individuals to celebrate their cultural identity while making room for personal growth
Remember, it doesn't have to be solely about 'breaking the cycle'. We can embrace a both/and approach:
Being a Cycle Shifter AND Transforming Legacies
As we conclude, let's return to the powerful metaphor of Kintsugi. Just as the golden seams in repaired pottery tell a story of repair and beauty born from imperfection, our journey of generational healing is about creating something beautiful from our challenges. There is space for healing, and there is space for movement. Each step we take to honour our past while shaping our future adds a golden line to our legacy. We are not merely fixing what was broken, but creating a new masterpiece—one that shines with the wisdom of our ancestors and the hope of generations to come.
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With much warmth and gratitude, from your ‘Cultural Bridge Builder’,
Vi
